A Legacy Left- a letter from my mom

942473_135972139946241_1082488315_nThis last handwritten letter from my mom can be our marching prayer for our own family. March on ladies…until He returns or calls us home. Mom left a mess of Jesus behind, and I mean that quite literally (see these notecards?!). Our home is still full of these scripture filled notecards in her precious writing. What will be your legacy?

My dearest Maria,

As I have thought and prayed about you for many years, I want to leave a legacy to each of my children. I know, through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the legacy I leave is to be the legacy of the Holy Spirit’s mark in our lives, God’s thumbprint on the forehead and hearts of each of my children and influence to our grandchildren and possible great-grandchildren. This is done by pursuing our Savior, Jesus Christ, as our true Lord of our life. Today I began my “journals” to each of my children and possible love journal to my Husband. Throughout the years to come, I will make inscriptions of love, teaching, thoughts, encouragement, warnings, and prayers. All to better remind and equip you in this world even after I am gone. As I read today in Matthew 8:16-17, Jesus (with a word-His word) drove out demons into a herd of pigs, which ran to their death to be no more. In Matthew 8:23-27 He (with His word) rebuked the wind and waves and calmed the sea. In John 11:43-45 Jesus spoke (His words) “Lazarus, come out!” and he was raised from death. With Christ’s words, even the dead are raised!

Legacy, yes legacy, of knowing, writing, sharing, believing, living, and passing on my Father’s love to his love (His children, you). These are His words to you, Maria. He had his word’s put to paper, his love exposed and put to paper (all scripture is God breathed, 2 Timothy 3:16), but it is breathed on paper to be breathed on all of you. So I do what my Father does and continue to breathe in and breath out his Holy Spirit as far as He allows. You, sweet child, are charged with doing the same for the next generation: your children and possibly their friends as well. I love you, Maria, angel from Heaven, one with such beauty and grace. May you always love God with great passion and sacrifice when called to. Celebrate Christ every day. He is celebrating you this very moment.



Click here to read more pieces on the series Reflections on Grief 

View my grief story here


Thankfulness for the Cross and the Man on it

image1-12 I am so thankful God didn’t send anyone but Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. We would have a hard time being willing to die let alone die for an adulteress, a murderer, a bigot, a racist, a thief, a liar, a bad friend, someone who’s deeply offended us, a rapist, a harlot, the arrogant, the proud, the jealous, the lowly, the wealthy, the poor, the annoying, the selfie obsessed, the childless, the woman who aborted, the doctor who performed the abortion, the Hilary supporter, the Trump supporter, the “never Trump” supporter, the one who abandoned her kid, the one who sexually abused a child, the parent who bruises their child…


Dying for our sins is what saved us, dying for our sins (while still sinners) is the very thing that should humble us to our knees and force our face to be in His word with humility and thanks.


Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.”

Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

1 Timothy 1:13-15 ” Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”

John 3:16 ” For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Quotes, Scripture, & Reflections from Beth Moore


“There comes a time to get your own Bible out & shout to the rest of the world at the top of your lungs, ‘Everybody who’s not Jesus shut up.’ ” Hebrews 12:2, Mark 10:27, Luke 18:27


“The thing about playing it safe is that it’s just, well, playing. And the devil ain’t playing. Quit hiding. You were meant to be mighty.” Ephesians 6 is blatant. There is nothing wussy about being a Christian. If we believe John 10:10 is true, this should change our life, our focus, our reality.


“My deep hope for the church is that many of us will now go into recovery & break our fierce addiction to the vitriol we’ve used like Vicodin.” wisdom (Proberbs 2:6) and rest (Isaiah 30:15) are from God. We are a people wildly distracted from his truth, and our arrogance breathes the lie that “maybe this isn’t completely true”…enter in doubt that God alone is all we need.


“Never think for a moment wrestling with God is not a form of intimacy. You can fight without one on one contact but wrestling requires touch” look at Jacob’s wrestle with God, in Genesis 32, and see what intimacy came from it for Jacob.


“You cannot fix people. You cannot force them to do what you think is right. Give it up at least for today. Let Jesus run His own world.” the arrogance that is mine, likes to think other wise. Jeremiah 24:7


Go to Jesus,


“Be thankful in all circumstances.”

“Be thankful in all circumstances.”


Be Thankful

(inspired by Heidi St John’s November scripture writing: Cultivating Thankfulness)


be joyful.

be loving.

be fun.

be still.



enjoy the still small moments.

pour a hot cup of coffee and fully enjoy it.

shhh. quiet the noise around you.

sit down and talk with someone you love.

hear them. be thankful for them.



in the hardships of life.

in the joys of life.

in the exciting moments of life.

in the painful moments of life.



all of God’s creation that surrounds you.

all of the hopes that lie ahead of you.

all of the days ordained for you.

all of the trials that mature you.



in the death of your person(s).

in the diagnoses.

in the new mercies every morning.

in the salvation that is yours.

in the hope you have because of the Savior you serve.


“Be thankful in all circumstances.” 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Inspiration from: Be Still by Kathryn O’Brien & Gillian Flint

“Through the most darkest days of my life (to date), I got know Jesus in the way that his word because real to me”

“Through the most darkest days of my life (to date), I got know Jesus in the way that his word because real to me”

“It was too perfect to last,’ so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. It may be grimly pessimistic – as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than He stopped it (‘None of that here!’). As if He were like the Hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean ‘This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.’ As if God said, ‘Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.”

This quote from C.S. Lewis’ book, A Grief Observed, is a perfect summary of my journey with the Lord through my grief.

After my losses, everything I was sure to be true about God came into question, and that’s really painful when you’ve been a Christian for over 10 years. Often times I asked God, “what was the point of loving them so much only for it all to be taken away in an instant?”. In my pain, I spoke the language of someone pained and say things like, “I would’ve guarded myself against loving them that much had I known” and “you let me love them and you tricked me”. In my pain, I began to believe God wanted to rip the “rug” out from under me to teach me a lesson that he alone is God and I should not love anyone else more than him.

Fast forward this grief journey to today and I have a new understanding and certainty of what I am to do with this loss and who Jesus is to me, Maria. 2 Corinthians 1: 4 makes it very clear what the purpose for these losses were for me, “…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” and I have been comforted by him, in the most tender and intimate of ways.

Through the most darkest days of my life (to date), I got know Jesus in the way that his word because real to me, and I got to experience (first hand) just how true his words are, which is intimate. Instead of just telling you it was intimate, I’m going to share with you through one of my journal times with him …

You believed me to be a tyrant King who is going to show you that it’s my way or the highway. You translated your losses to be a personal attack on you. You took my very words, in Romans, that say I work all things for the good of those who love me, to mean somehow your parents’ death was good for you. Death isn’t good. Your parents’ death was not good. Death is not what was intended when I created this world (Genesis). Your parents’ death wasn’t good for you, Maria, but I am going to work for your good and those are not the same meaning. Trust me, Child, because I died for you and I know…In Matthew 26, you see that I was in such great sorrow over my death that my sorrow felt like physical death. I get it and I get what this pain means for you. I knew what these losses were going to do to you and, child, I can handle it. I can handle your hurt, pain, and questions. I created you in your mama’s womb and I know your innermost places (Psalm 139). There is nothing you can do or say that will hurt or offend me so bad that I’ll leave you (Hebrews 13). I know this is painful and I hate it for you. I hate it for you so much that I died on the cross so you will never have to experience this again when you get to come home to me (Revelation 21). I needed you to see me (really see me) so you could know me and I could then heal the most broken areas of your heart, to heal the broken beliefs because you have three little ones I have given you to disciple. Your parents came home to me because “this had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be.”

I become little a child, his child, with tears flowing down my cheeks. I grieve again but this time, I grieve not for my parents but to see him more because I’ve missed so much of him, I’ve missed so much of his love for me because I didn’t know it quite yet. I didn’t know he loved me like this, so personal. My parents’ death amputated me, but it’s been his love that has changed me. I’ll never be the same and it’s marked by the night I heard “Maria, your parents are dead” …