An Addicts Confession

This is written from the perspective of an addict who knows there is freedom in Jesus but has yet to experience for herself. Freedom in Jesus sounds so wonderful and simple, yet people that have tried to help her fail to realize something … she is an addict and an addict falls hard to the thing she is addicted to.
An addict is a tortured soul who knows the truth but feeds off lies (eventually confusing them for truth). If an addict stays too long here, they become unrecognizable. You see, addiction isn’t just to drugs, alcohol, and sex. Addiction is the very thing the enemy uses to torture your soul, question God’s goodness, and ultimately destroy you (your testimony, heart, all the good work God has done in you).
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” John 10:10

 

My body is driven by you.

My mind is consumed by you.

My life is encompassed by you.

My soul is tortured by you.

Yet,

You are not my King.

You are not who I committed to serve.

You are not sovereign.

Yet,

You are who feeds me (day in, day out).

You are who I get drunk on.

You are my addiction.

Fear.

Shame.

 

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Written By: Maria Bowersock

“This last handwritten letter from my mom can be our marching prayer for our own family.”

942473_135972139946241_1082488315_nThis last handwritten letter from my mom can be our marching prayer for our own family. March on ladies…until He returns or calls us home. Mom left a mess of Jesus behind, and I mean that quite literally (see these notecards?!). Our home is still full of these scripture filled notecards in her precious writing. What will be your legacy?

My dearest Maria,

As I have thought and prayed about you for many years, I want to leave a legacy to each of my children. I know, through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the legacy I leave is to be the legacy of the Holy Spirit’s mark in our lives, God’s thumbprint on the forehead and hearts of each of my children and influence to our grandchildren and possible great-grandchildren. This is done by pursuing our Savior, Jesus Christ, as our true Lord of our life. Today I began my “journals” to each of my children and possible love journal to my Husband. Throughout the years to come, I will make inscriptions of love, teaching, thoughts, encouragement, warnings, and prayers. All to better remind and equip you in this world even after I am gone. As I read today in Matthew 8:16-17, Jesus (with a word-His word) drove out demons into a herd of pigs, which ran to their death to be no more. In Matthew 8:23-27 He (with His word) rebuked the wind and waves and calmed the sea. In John 11:43-45 Jesus spoke (His words) “Lazarus, come out!” and he was raised from death. With Christ’s words, even the dead are raised!

Legacy, yes legacy, of knowing, writing, sharing, believing, living, and passing on my Father’s love to his love (His children, you). These are His words to you, Maria. He had his word’s put to paper, his love exposed and put to paper (all scripture is God breathed, 2 Timothy 3:16), but it is breathed on paper to be breathed on all of you. So I do what my Father does and continue to breathe in and breath out his Holy Spirit as far as He allows. You, sweet child, are charged with doing the same for the next generation: your children and possibly their friends as well. I love you, Maria, angel from Heaven, one with such beauty and grace. May you always love God with great passion and sacrifice when called to. Celebrate Christ every day. He is celebrating you this very moment.

xo-

Mom

Click here to read more pieces on the series Reflections on Grief 

View my grief story here

 

Quotes, Scripture, & Reflections from Beth Moore

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“There comes a time to get your own Bible out & shout to the rest of the world at the top of your lungs, ‘Everybody who’s not Jesus shut up.’ ” Hebrews 12:2, Mark 10:27, Luke 18:27

 

“The thing about playing it safe is that it’s just, well, playing. And the devil ain’t playing. Quit hiding. You were meant to be mighty.” Ephesians 6 is blatant. There is nothing wussy about being a Christian. If we believe John 10:10 is true, this should change our life, our focus, our reality.

 

“My deep hope for the church is that many of us will now go into recovery & break our fierce addiction to the vitriol we’ve used like Vicodin.” wisdom (Proberbs 2:6) and rest (Isaiah 30:15) are from God. We are a people wildly distracted from his truth, and our arrogance breathes the lie that “maybe this isn’t completely true”…enter in doubt that God alone is all we need.

 

“Never think for a moment wrestling with God is not a form of intimacy. You can fight without one on one contact but wrestling requires touch” look at Jacob’s wrestle with God, in Genesis 32, and see what intimacy came from it for Jacob.

 

“You cannot fix people. You cannot force them to do what you think is right. Give it up at least for today. Let Jesus run His own world.” the arrogance that is mine, likes to think other wise. Jeremiah 24:7

 

Go to Jesus,

Maria

“Be thankful in all circumstances.”

“Be thankful in all circumstances.”

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Be Thankful

(inspired by Heidi St John’s November scripture writing: Cultivating Thankfulness)

BE

be joyful.

be loving.

be fun.

be still.

 

BE THANKFUL

enjoy the still small moments.

pour a hot cup of coffee and fully enjoy it.

shhh. quiet the noise around you.

sit down and talk with someone you love.

hear them. be thankful for them.

 

BE THANKFUL IN

in the hardships of life.

in the joys of life.

in the exciting moments of life.

in the painful moments of life.

 

BE THANKFUL IN ALL 

all of God’s creation that surrounds you.

all of the hopes that lie ahead of you.

all of the days ordained for you.

all of the trials that mature you.

 

BE THANKFUL IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES 

in the death of your person(s).

in the diagnoses.

in the new mercies every morning.

in the salvation that is yours.

in the hope you have because of the Savior you serve.

 

“Be thankful in all circumstances.” 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Inspiration from: Be Still by Kathryn O’Brien & Gillian Flint

“Child, you have used the plane crash as evidence that I’m not all that good, but if that was true”

“Child, you have used the plane crash as evidence that I’m not all that good, but if that was true”

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My Daughter,

My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Come to me, you weary one, and I will give you rest  (Matthew 11:28). After your parent’s death, you’ve made a living off of being the “strong one”. You found courage in your own strength and ability. Child, I created you to be strong, don’t you know that (Ephesians 6:10)? I created you and knit you together in Kimberly Dawn Hatch’s womb. I, too, knit your mom together. She was created for you, by Me.  I wanted the best for you, and I gave you parents that would train you in the way you should go (Proverbs 22:6) so that you could have the true Bread of Life (John 6).

You hurt and you think it was I that hurt you. I know this is how you feel but I also know what’s in your heart. You may think you don’t have faith in my ability but you do. I just need to show you how much faith you have, in Me, like I showed my disciples in John 5. They were in a fearful situation, they saw me and yet vocally doubted and questioned my ability. You see, I knew they had faith, they just didn’t know it yet so I revealed to them just how deep their faith in me ran. You’ve fallen into this trap of believing you need to work out your faith but you don’t. You do not have to work out your faith because it’s already done and sealed, and I’m going to teach you how to trust me more because I desire you. When you focus on the plane crash, you see the destruction of all the beauty that once was, and that’s excruciating (this is no surprise to me). This is just like my people, the Israelites, when I was leading them out of slavery into the Promised Land (Exodus). When the Israelites took their eyes off of all the good I was doing, they only saw how I didn’t provide and missed my goodness (Exodus 16). When you only see the destruction of  what once was, you miss the joy of a family I lavished on you and, in doing so, miss the gift of their life. Their life and unity in marriage was a provision for you, and if I provided for you then, will I not again?!  Maria, claim Isaiah 43: 19 because it’s yours for the taking: “Behold! I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Child, you have used the plane crash as evidence that I’m not all that good, but if that was true, then my words wouldn’t be true. This is what I know of my daughter, Maria, she knows the Bible is true and therefore, doubting my goodness can’t hold true. I just need to help show you for yourself just how deep your faith runs. Don’t twist this into meaning you need to somehow prove your faith to me because I already know my daughter’s heart. It is you that doesn’t quite see it yet. I am doing a new thing in you, Maria. There are nothing and no one that could snatch you from my hand because you are mine. Your salvation was finished on the cross (John 19:30) so there is nothing more you can do to add or take away from it. All I ask from you is to believe me (John 6:29). Will you believe that I will finish the good work I started in you until completion (Philippians 1:6)?

Jesus loves you (John 3:16),

The Bread of Life (John 6)