Does God’s Goodness Always Feel Good?

I want the goodness of God to always feel good, but is this realistic?

When loss is the uninvited guest of our home, we feel something about it. The loss seems to invite feelings of grief, mourning, aching that crush the core of the one living in the loss.

It seems to be in these times we ache for answers to help us understand the purpose of the pain. “How can God be good when this is so painful?”, we say aloud or keep it tucked away in the secret parts of our heart so no one knows you are questioning the goodness of God.

God created us to have feelings and it doesn’t make us weak to express them. We hurt so we cry. We are excited so we laugh. We are happy so we smile. We are tired so we sleep (or are grumpy all day… if you’re anything like me). We are stressed so we drink wine. We lose a loved one so we grieve.

Yet when feelings become the dictator of our life, we can quickly lose heart. How do you respond when met with all of these feelings? Do you cast your cares on the Lord (Psalm 55:22 NIV)? Do you trust the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5 NIV)? Do you let God’s love drive out your fear (1 John 4:18)? How you respond in the face of your feelings can be the regluing or undoing of you.

God’s goodness does not always feel good. The book of Job clearly exposes this reality. I wonder how many people walk around feeling wounded by God because they have allowed their feelings to be the dictator of their life.

Ten years ago, I would have confidently exclaimed God’s goodness and it would have felt good to say. I would even provide you with evidence of his goodness in my life, but the reality is this evidence was based on circumstances that felt good. My feelings dictated my belief about God’s goodness.

On June 24, 2011, my feelings became the most unreliable source of truth for me. I was met with the devastation that would forever change how I did life with the Lord. What appeared to be evidence of God’s abandonment was just the beginning of the stripping of a belief system that was faulty. He was soon going to cloth me with one that was true from the source of truth, my Jesus.

God’s goodness has not always felt good but, I can firmly say, He has always worked the pain for my good. It has been the saving of my soul that has been worth it all. With an aching in my gut and a tears welling in my eyes, I can testify that He has been worth it. It’s been through the  tragedies- that resulted from June 24- I have been gifted with some of the most intimate times with God, in turn deepening my faith.

Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV) This Scripture does not say, “And we know that all things are good for us.” We can trust that He is going to work all things for our good even when it is not good for us.

Death is not good for us! Dear one, if death was good for us there would be no need for Jesus to come and die and be resurrected to save us from death. He died on that cross because death is not good for us. Death is terrible and excruciatingly painful and not what God intended when he created this world (Genesis 1-3 NIV).

If you are walking the road of losing a loved one, lean into Jesus. He knows this is not what is good for you but he will work it for your good. Abide in Him and you will produce lasting fruit and much of it, even though you feel as if you might die from grief (John 15).

If you are walking alongside someone who is grieving, will you share this truth with them? This may be the breath of fresh air they are longing for. This may be their break from the idealism of the well meaning that is suffocating them. They just may need someone to come and sit with them and say, “this is terrible”. Your friend can be in excruciating pain and still trust God is going to work this out for her good. I’m so grateful for the testimony of Katherine and Jay Wolf in their book Hope Heals,

No amount of catharsis or perspective finding will change the fact that our situation is terribly sad and deeply broken. I can give God the glory, and it can still hurt. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. But I have learned, above all other lessons, that healing for each person is spiritual. We will be fully restored in heaven, but we are actually healed on earth right now. My experience has caused me to redefine healing and to discover a hope that heals the most broken places: our souls (page 18).

Are you struggling because you desperately want God’s goodness to always feel good?

I did too.

It feels like a crushing blow when this truth is met with your inescapable reality that life- no matter how many years pass, new life that grows, exciting experiences that arise- is now filtered through the lens of loss. But this is where hope comes in, dear one. We can look forward with the hope that someday God’s goodness will always feel good because all will be made right (Revelation 21 NIV). As you wait expectantly for that day, you can experience healing of the most broken place right now: your soul.


If this post resonated with you, journey over to Newness through the Pain.

Newness through the Pain

Do you ever question how God can make anything good come from devastation? 

No one wants to walk through seasons of deep pain and grief but it is inescapable… the way of a life lived.

As much as I long for Heaven where there will be no more death and anguish, it has been these painful times of my life that have been a catalyst for change. This change has led to a maturing of my faith in the Lord. Navigating my way through this inescapable pain is where scripture became more than just words on a page but the fire that set my feet walking and my heart beating. It seems to be that the Lord has used these times to birth out of me something new…

When I think of newness I think of the morning sun, the smell of fresh flowers, the birds chirping, and freshly brewed pot of coffee. I crave the newness each day offers.

It’s a beautiful miracle when this newness becomes more than an experience but the face of a person.

We can change our hairstyle, our makeup, our clothes, our attitude but the real change comes when we surrender and follow our Savior and He makes us new!

Without Him, we’ve just been experiencing a cheap version of what newness really tastes, smells, and feels like.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:19 NIV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)


Journey over to, Stop the Name Calling: from Shame to Beloved, for a proper departure from here.



Facing Your Freedom [Free Download]

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands” (2 Timothy 1:6)

Let’s face it, when it comes to freedom in Christ, we trade our joy for doubt, our tenacity for fear, or (dare I say) our calling for a self-invoked punishment as if we are putting ourselves in timeout until we learn to “behave”. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of defeated living. As women of God, we were made for fire and I want “this little light of mine” to burn wild and free.
This particular piece of writing had me captivated as I was curating it while sitting with my legs curled close to my 20-week baby bump and my left pointer finger twirling a strand of hair as I sat, prayed, pondered and wrote. You see, this piece represents what A Woman Named Free was birthed from, raw and unrestrained life of Maria Bowersock.
I typically do not write poems, so I thought it would benefit you to have some instruction on how to read this piece. (pst…I may be breaking all the rules of poem writing by doing this, so … )
This particular poem starts with statements that I wrestled with at one point or another. I was sure these fierce times in life would slaughter me and yet because of Jesus, I safely stand. The poem then guides you through the time of my life where my feelings collided with Scripture and produce something miraculous; the moment in my life where something wildly beautiful happens. From here, you will walk with me down the road of intimacy as I talk to my Heavenly Father.
Most of these types of writings I ponder up with Him and keep them in the secret hideaway of my heart. Other times, the message relentlessly burns to my bones and needs to be released from my hideaway… {download and read by clicking below}




Facing Your Freedom [Free Download]

“Because I started to face my pain, the Lord was able to bring healing.”

“Because I started to face my pain, the Lord was able to bring healing.”

It took me years to know how to handle the hardships of grief during the holidays. I was reminded recently of the verse from Psalms 147 that says that God mends the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. This resonated deep within me. Every holiday season, it almost seems like I have this wound that has started to heal but once I start going towards these seasons, the wound starts to re-open. When someone is in pain from a deep wound, it’s hard to get their mind off the pain. Your focus is only on that hurt. Your brain makes it a number one priority. And that is how it felt for me for so long.

I can really only say that once I started seeing Jesus in my healing instead of seeing only myself, was I really able to get through a holiday without that wound re-opening. He really started to bind up my wounds, therefore He was mending my broken heart. My blood started pumping towards His heart. His blood started circulating through my body, healing my wounds. I started to become one with Him.

I try to make it a priority to see my family as much as I can during the holiday seasons, even though we are placed throughout the world. That’s where I find my joy, in the love of Jesus and in the love of those who have loved me unconditionally. I’m not afraid to go toward these seasons anymore. I’m not afraid of the grief I still face. It’s so much better to go towards the grief than to run away from it. I ran away from the wounds for quite some time. Because I started to face my pain, the Lord was able to bring healing.

However hard this upcoming holiday season may be for you, don’t run away from your hurt. Use your boxing gloves and fight. Fight for the joy that this holiday season can bring for you. But also fight for the grief you are in. It’s okay to be in it. It’s okay to have wounds. But don’t stop putting ointment on it. That ointment is Jesus. Memorize his Word in your heart so that His blood can also run through your veins. I promise it will heal you. Maybe not in your time or my time but it will happen.

As I was praying on how to end this, I was reminded of this verse. I really feel that God wants to speak Isaiah 61:3 as a promise over all of you who are reading this with a heart full of pain and hurt. Jesus cares so deeply for you that He spoke to me to give this to you. How caring is that? So please read it. Get by yourself, take all of your worries and busyness out of your mind from the day and soak it in.

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

About Audra: Hey y’all! My name is Audra Arnold. I’m a wife to my husband, a lover of all things birds and a nanny to three adorable boys (I love my job). Most of all, I’m a daughter of Jesus. If you would like to continue to follow my story or would like to get in contact with me, feel free to add any of my media links that are listed below. Thanks for taking the time to read my post!

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“The thing is a change in perspective has the potential to change everything.”

“The thing is a change in perspective has the potential to change everything.”

surviving-holidays-laura-gThis year will be my fourth year celebrating the holidays since my Mom passed unexpectedly and quickly from cancer. I am not an expert on grief by any means, but I have discovered some helpful ways to make the holiday season still be one that I can fully celebrate in spite of the deep loss of my Mom not being a part of it. I am writing this in the hopes that what I’ve learned will be of some use to someone else that has suffered deep loss.

I would say this is THE most important and helpful tip I could give anyone regarding grief especially as a special day approaches.
As the anticipated day approaches, (whether it’s a holiday, an anniversary, birthday or any other big day that the loss may seem greater) allow yourself to grieve, don’t wait and hold it all in, in an attempt to “save” it for that special day.
Personally, I have learned that if I allow myself to be taken under the waves of grief as they roll in, I am able to resurface and experience peace again more quickly than if I try to control it by holding back and waiting for a convenient time. Another MAJOR benefit to this practice as special days approach is that by the time the special day becomes the present day, you’ve already grieved in such a way leading up to it, that the actual day becomes less sorrowful and more a day that can be truly celebrated.

I know that this may be a hard thing to practice, as it is a natural desire for our flesh to run away from what causes us pain. If this is you, take heart, my friend, may you find comfort from Jesus’ promise in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Did you notice that it doesn’t say, “Wait before you come to me”? No, it simply says “Come”. It has been my experience that when I come to him raw with honesty about my internal state of being, he meets me right then, where I am, and he gives me exactly what I need. REST.

Isaiah 54:10 “Thought he mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” It does my heart much good to remember that He has compassion on me, he hears my cries, and no matter what happens, his love for me is unfailing!
Typically the holiday season is one filled with traditions which makes it extra hard when one that you shared those traditions with is no longer present to take part with you.
The solution I have found for this is to do things differently than you normally would have. This enables you to be creative and to spend time thinking of new ways to make this time of year special with those that you still have to celebrate with, all the while it makes it not feel quite as big of a deal that the person you’re missing isn’t there because you’re doing things that they weren’t ever a part of. For instance, if you normally would gather on Christmas Eve and have a formal dinner, try meeting in a more casual setting and having an appetizer/dessert and game night. A personal example for me, we would normally all gather at my Mom’s on Christmas for brunch. This gave us time with our immediate families in the morning to open presents. Now that my Mom is gone, I have found much joy in planning some sort of special breakfast/brunch to surprise my kids with on Christmas morning instead of rushing off to my Mom’s house. I also carry on a tradition my Mom started when I was younger and I wrap a few “family presents” (games) to put under the tree. This way we have some family activities to fill our time on Christmas Day, and it feels fun to honor a tradition she started. I find Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 especially encouraging whenever a change is hard. “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven (v 1)…A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a tie to dance (v 4).” I cry and grieve as Christmas approaches, and I laugh and dance on Christmas Day.

Staying busy by focusing on others through the holiday season helps me to get my focus off of my loss and myself, and back to Christ and his command to love and serve others. Be creative and look for ways to serve in secret. If you have kids this is a great way to teach them that this life is not about us, it’s about bringing glory to God’s name. A tradition I started with my kids after my Mom died is baking cookies and homemade bread to take to all of the neighbors on my street, along with a Christmas card that shares about Jesus’ birth. Phil 1:27 says, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” –even in grief.
As the very first Christmas I had without my Mom approached, I remember having the realization that every day without her was hard, which begged the question, “Why should that particular day be any harder?” Even as I write that question I can hear in my head all of the arguments one could make against it. The thing is a change in perspective has the potential to change everything. Sure, one could have the perspective that a certain day will be harder, but does it have to be that way? Or can we change our perspective, and decide that it doesn’t have to be? Let me give you an example, one of the hardest things about not having my Mom here anymore is being able to call her to share with her the funny, exciting, or hard things that are happening with my kids. Another big one is not being able to discuss the hardships of my own life as she was very wise and knew me so well. These are some of the everyday losses that feel excruciating and are no less painful than not being able to spend Christmas or any other holiday with her. In my experience, deciding that the loss doesn’t have to feel any worse on a holiday than any other day has proven to make it not so bad on the actual holiday or anniversary. I suggest trying it!

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is –his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

Lastly, remembering 1 Thessalonians 4:13,14 “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” My Mom loved and followed Jesus faithfully, thus I have the assurance that she is in Heaven.
One of the things that help get me through Christmas and birthdays is remembering her love for Him, and her desire to be with Him in Heaven one day. I allow myself to imagine what it is like for her in Heaven on Christmas. Is there an amazing birthday celebration, or is every day a celebration? I picture what her face used to look like when He would move her in some way, I wonder if she has that look on her face all of the time now. Remembering that when she was here on Earth there was no place she would’ve rather been than in His presence, helps me to rejoice that she is there because I love her, instead of focusing on what it’s like for me to not have her here.

“Let us come before him with Thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.” (vs 6) “Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care.

Psalm 95:1, 6

It is my hope for all that have experienced loss to know that the Lord is good, and His love endures forever.



About Laura: My name is Laura, and I’m a daughter of the One True King. I’m a warrior in training for His Kingdom. I’m a sinner redeemed by Jesus. The only good you will find in me comes from Him, Jesus in me. Without Him, I’m just a mess… I’m also a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.  My passion is to inspire women to desire change, to go, do, and be, the beautiful and powerful warrior daughters God created them to be.
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