I so wish you could have known these beautiful souls I got to call “Mom” and “Dad”. These two people directly impacted who I am as a wife, mother, sister, friend, and Jesus girl. How my family now “does life” has changed quite a bit since June 24, 2011. It was on that day a nightmare became my family’s reality- my parents flew to the lake house and never came home.
My dad used to find so much joy in piloting his small plane. It was his “thing”- a thing I’ll always remember about him and smile as if to say a tidal wave of fond memories drench my mind. On June 24, 2011, my dad did what he loved and took who he loved to head up to a place he loved. We said our goodbyes with an expectation of seeing each other in a few days.
My mom hated to fly but not because she was scared of flying. My mom was a woman who could- and did- handle hard and scary things with such grace. She had such a fierceness about her coupled with such a gentleness. So she took her fierce self and did what she didn’t want to do- fly. I’ll never forget her response after asking her why she wanted to go. Her response was said with a strong conviction that it will forever be tattooed on my mind, “Maria, I need to be with my husband.”
I didn’t understand the need but I knew that when my mom says something with such strong conviction, you just back down. I didn’t know this need to be with him would be because it was time for them to be in heaven. June 24, 2011, started a new world for us- a world without our parents.
On that day, loss because the uninvited guest of our home and the trajectory of my life has been forever impacted. Although their death has not been good, God has worked it for good. It’s a miraculous work when something as terrible as death can, somehow, be worked for good- Jesus has done that for me through the healing of my soul.
By his miraculous doing, God has breathed life back into my bones. I begged God to heal my parents, bring them back to life. If he could raise Lazarus from the dead, why not my parents? (John 11) As only a grieving person does, I hoped for a miracle where all seemed hopeless. He answered my prayer but it was my soul he chose to heal. I so appreciate the testimony of Katherine and Jay Wolf in their book Hope Heals,
No amount of catharsis or perspective finding will change the fact that our situation is terribly sad and deeply broken. I can give God the glory, and it can still hurt. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. But I have learned, above all other lessons, that healing for each person is spiritual. We will be fully restored in heaven, but we are actually healed on earth right now. My experience has caused me to redefine healing and to discover a hope that heals the most broken places: our souls (page 18).
The trajectory of my life looked much different not all that long ago. Through all of the pain, I am a woman who has fallen for Jesus and became captivated by Scripture, which- in all honesty- is a miracle. In the healing of my soul, he has lit a fire in my bones with a message: God is good even when life doesn’t feel good.
I hope you will stick around to hear about it- not for my sake, not for my fame, but for your sake and Jesus’ fame.
Follow up post:
Memories to share with you-
Mom and Dad in NC with Great Grandma
Maria and Dad at the lake house in 2009
Mom and Maria in Arizona 2009